So as I mentioned before I am a college student. I’m currently in the second semester of my sophomore year at Texas A&M University. I started out my academic career here at A&M as a Biomedical Sciences major on the Pre-Veterinary track. After struggling through three semesters and watching my grades sink lower and lower, I decided that maybe it just wasn’t the right thing for me. So at the end of last semester, I made one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make, and changed majors.
I think the most difficult thing for me was coming to terms with the idea that I would not be going to Vet school. It’s something that I’ve dreamed about since I was a babbling baby, always trying to “fix my dog’s boo-boos” even when it wasn’t welcome. I spent all of high school taking these courses that were specifically geared towards the field and exploring as much of the domestic animal world as I could. Everyone knew me as the girl who was going places with her life and knew what she was doing with it. Even my family bragged about how I knew what I wanted to do with my life. So you might be able to imagine how I felt as I signed the papers declaring a new major. I certainly was in a dark place. It was hardest I think to tell my parents. My Mom welcomed the change, because she was who I would call in moments of frustration and tell her how I failed yet another test, even though I had spent the past two weeks doing nothing but studying. She iterated how sad she was and how she was sad mainly because she knew that I was giving up a big part of what I had worked for my whole life. She was tired of seeing, or rather hearing, me in such a state that I couldn’t function and was making myself physically ill every time an exam came around. My Dad was probably the hardest person to tell. He was supportive as he always is, but I could tell that he wasn’t thrilled. It’s a Dad’s job to worry about how their youngest daughter is supposed to support herself in the future. He jokes around a lot about how I’m now just going to college to get my M.R.S degree, and I know he just does it because he doesn’t know how else to handle the situation. I don’t think he realizes the effect it has on me. I’m not saying that the relationship I have with him is all to different from my Mom, I just feel like it’s harder to go to him for the emotional things because of how much I look up to him. In all aspects it has been a difficult transition and a short amount of time to deal with it.
So now here I am, a Wildlife and Fisheries major with an emphasis in Animal Behavior and Management and a minor in Psychology. I’m not entirely sure what I want to do with this degree, and as scary as that is, it’s even more liberating. I feel like college is meant to be this journey where you make mistakes, and yes, you pay for them, but you learn to bounce back. With my last major, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t bounce back and I took that as a sign that something was wrong and that maybe I needed to try a different path than the one I was on. I’m tired of feeling that all my hard work is for nothing, and even with all the uncertainty I have a feeling that I’ll be able to pull myself out of this funk that I find myself in. So I’ll leave you with another quote that’s on my mirror. This reminds me that to build myself up I can’t hide from the difficult things. I must learn to meet them head on and handle them with an honest and open heart in order to learn from them.
“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.”